So this weekend I traveled to the Antalya province for the first time, flown out as part of this two-and-a-half day program for journalists about golf, investments and some other economics stuff. I didn’t really know what to expect headed out there, and while there were some low points both in terms of company (being the only one from a conservative newspaper, the only non-drinker, etc.) and situation (i had the stomach flu while I was there, I was ignored by almost everyone because I don’t fit the drinking, secular journalist profile) and some weird lessons learned (all the stuff in the mini fridges are free at luxury hotels! but unfortunately, just because they’re luxury hotels doesn’t mean the rooms are sound-proofed … at all. my ears are still bleeding from my enthusiastic neighbors across the hall) — despite all of that it was all well worth it when this afternoon I got to take a quiet walk by myself through a golf course.
It’s a huge, expansive place, with rolling green hills, lakes and fountains, trees, you name it. It was probably around 40 minutes until maghrib time when I set out by myself, and I walked for about 15 minutes when I ran into a perfect little clearing with a bench on a little mound. There was nobody around and it was as if the bench was waiting for me. So I had a seat, and from where I was sitting I could see a foresty bunch of trees across the lake that was in front of me, with a fountain in the lake and no sound but the running water and birds chirping. SubhanAllah. I started thinking about all of the ayaat that Allah swt mentions in the Qur’an, like the creation of the heavens and the earth, and how for people who think they are ayaat (signs). And I was looking at this cluster of trees across the water and it was like I had never seen any trees before, and I just thought to myself, all of these tall buildings, all of this great architecture — but really, is there anything as beautiful as a tree? No. It’s just incomparable. Regal mosques and ancient hans and huge skyscrapers don’t have that ability to make you happy just looking at them, they don’t infuse euphoria into you and produce oxygen and house birds and provide shade and give you that “out in nature” feeling. Subhanallah.
And then, I leaned back and looked at the sky. When was the last time you looked at the sky? Like just took in as much of it with your eyes as you could and remembered how huge the planet is? I remember when I was a little girl, I would try to imagine the definition of the universe. What is the universe, how big is it, where are its boundaries? I would think to myself. I’d imagine the earth, looking up at the sky and its massive size. Then I’d think that there are many planets in a solar system, many solar systems in a galaxy, and so forth … and the universe was infinite. When I tried to imagine what was beyond the universe, it just made my head hurt and all I could think of was a white blank. What’s beyond the end of the universe, the most major concept they taught us in school? It was my earliest, and remains one of my most fundamental, impressions of the greatness of God’s power, the infinity of His nature. Far beyond the universe, which I can’t even conceptualize with the power of all the intellect and thought I can muster. SubhanAllah.
I have no idea when the last time I had looked at the sky before today had been. Living in such a big city and shuffling from home to the bus stop to the bus to the office and back every single day, rarely pausing to notice anything that’s not a shop window or some building or some event going on in the street — like it hit me all of a sudden how disconnected I am from nature living in this city. And being disconnected from nature means being disconnect, in a sense, from one way of knowing Allah swt. I remember in college the Muslim students’ association used to organize sisters’ stargazing nights where we’d go up to a hill and look at the night sky and have a sohbet up there. There’s no MSA anymore, but the night sky is still around, and the day sky as well. I’ll have to remember to look at it more often insha’Allah…
