bana ne?

“Bana ne?” It’s probably the phrase I hate the most in Turkish; it encompasses so much of the cultural self-centeredness that you wouldn’t expect to be so much more prominent in Turkey than in individualist societies like the United States. But that’s how it is. Time and time again, I hear people ask in an offhand manner, “Bana ne?” Hayattaki seni direkt ilgilenmeyen şeylerin hepsi önemsiz mi? Give me a break. Not everything is about how you’re feeling today, or your interests, or your people. There are other people in the world. Ha, herkes dedikodu yapıp kendileri ilgilendirmeyen konulara karışıp dursun da demiyorum. Ama azıcık empati kurmak zarar vermez insana. When everything is approached from this “Bana ne?” perspective, it leads to a general lack of politeness and common courtesy in society. Everyone pushing other people out of the way, cutting in line, only looking out for themselves… subhanAllah. Who are you? Or rather, who do you think you are? What makes you better or more important than other people? The only way you can exceed another is through piety and good deeds — and that often entails self-sacrifice.

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